I am going to miss the leaves in the meadows. The leaves, in their beautiful willowy-ness. I love autumn, don't get me wrong....but those leaves. Especially in the wind, in the golden sunset of crispness. Oh they are marvellous. Walking underneath them gives me continual delight.
'Oh!' cried Marrianne, 'with what transporting sensations have I formerly seen them fall! How have I delighted as I walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! What feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired! Now there is no one to regard them. They are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight.'
'It is not every one' said Elinor, 'who has your passion for dead leaves.'
-Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen
We live in very well-lit rooms. The contrasts are clear. We compare....ourselves to ourselves. What ever happened to the candlelight? To the flickering shadows on the wall? For just one evening I want to be sure. Sure of those flickering lights. Sure of that candlelight. Sure of the shadows. Sure that not everything is proven. Sure that there are things hidden. Sure that some things cannot be penetrated. Sure of life's unsurity.
But no. I am forced to live in a land that leaves no question unanswered. A land of bulbs, of florescence, of ordered deadness.
Break me free. Recover me. That I might live in the shadows and candlight of Your mystery once more.
'Now this is eternal life: that they may KNOW You, the one true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent....I have made You known to them and will continue to make You known in order that the love You have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.' - Jesus (John 17:3,26).
Oh how I long to LIVE IN this mystery. THE Mystery....the eternal life. Knowing Him....it's a mystery of knowing the Answer, yet always knowing it deeper and deeper. Never stopping to know. The mystery starts by actually being able to know that there IS the Answer. And when He reveals Himself....to dwell in that revelation. To worship. For eternity. Oh what a beautiful future we have in Him. For He has given us Himself, and in Him we have found wholeness and rest, grace and truth.
Sometimes I have a very odd sense of country-less-ness that sweeps over me. Disorientation clouds my mind and heart. Where actually IS my home? But then comes a friend or two to the rescue....and all is well. Aslan's country will forever be my home. :)
Goodnight, fair world....
'The Whimsical Lights'
The whimsical lights turn
Turn and move sprightly
To the rhythmn of rustling leaves
There is silence in true beauty
True beauty, I find,
Does not always require words
Sometimes the sky is grey
Sometimes it is full
Of light and love and joy
But always beautiful
Always hopeful and pure
Mystery is there
There, lies the rest
Forever in eternity it will be
Scope for the imagination
Images for the feast
To the sound of rushing water
The cathedral of trees overhead
Reminds me, such that
All I have are broken metaphors
Bound up in promises.